


Striking Twice

by dngrs_untld_hrdshps_unnmbrd



Category: Destiny (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Drama, Big all over, Casual Sex, F/M, Shaxx is a big boy, That becomes something much more
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2017-11-11
Packaged: 2019-01-16 02:32:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12333684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dngrs_untld_hrdshps_unnmbrd/pseuds/dngrs_untld_hrdshps_unnmbrd
Summary: Alexandra, a civilian member of the Firebreak Order around the time of Twilight Gap, is keen to prove herself as good a fighter as any Guardian. Meanwhile, Shaxx is struggling with his complicated feelings about his newly formed rift with Lord Saladin.The story begins in the Tower, pre-Ghaul, where Shaxx is shocked to re-encounter the newly resurrected Alexandra.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is for illiksis as part of our art trade and stars her beautiful Titan Striker Alexandra

****

 

_**Shaxx, The Tower, pre-Ghaul** _

Behind his one-horned helmet, Shaxx blinked. The young woman waited, her determined expression slowly becoming uncertain.

‘Uh, have I got something on my face?’ She swiped at her chin and looked at her fingers.

Her face was strong and open, with feminine curves to her cheekbones and mouth. Beautiful eyes which were accentuated by her short pixie cut. It was the face of a dead woman.

She’d come to see him, when was it, just after Twilight Gap? He’d still been setting up the Crucible then and was raw from their near-defeat and his newly formed rift with Lord Saladin.

_Heard you sell weapons. I need a better rifle and Callisto from the Firebreak –_

He’d cut her off, recognising her civilian gear. _I only provide weapons to Guardians. If you run with the Firebreak Order you’re going to get yourself killed._

_Better dead out there protecting the City than scared and idle in here, don’t you think?_

_What’s your name?_

_Alexandra Warren._

He’d handed her a weapon and shook his head when she tried to give him glimmer. _It was nice knowing you, Alexandra Warren._

She’d given him a dirty look, but accepted the weapon and went on her way.

Forcibly pulling himself back to the present, Shaxx began his spiel that he gave all new Guardians. She listened with quiet attentiveness while he tried not to remember the scar on her left hip and how its white pucker had gleamed in low light. The scar wouldn’t be there anymore. _She won’t be the same person_.

Being resurrected changed you and you were shaped by new experiences. She might have Alexandra’s face but she wasn’t Alexandra. But damn if it wasn’t unsettling to see her looking at him with that unrecognising expression.

‘I expect to see you in my Crucible soon, Guardian.’

She turned to go, his voice unremarked upon, the word _Crucible_ making nothing flicker in her eyes, and he felt a prickle of … what? She was several feet away when he called, ‘Hold up. What’s your name?’

‘Alex. Alexandra.’

Not for the first time he was grateful for the helmet that hid his face. She frowned at him, puzzled, and then headed out to the Plaza.

* * *

_**Shaxx, The Tower, Twilight Gap era** _

Shaxx spotted the young woman as soon as he stepped into the Brew. She was sitting with some Firebreak Order Titans at a low bench, all of them out of armour but battle-rumpled. Alexandra bore a bruise on her cheek, the only one with an injury as she had no Ghost to heal her.

On the one hand he understood her desire to fight for what they’d almost lost as much as the rest of them, but on the other, mortals fighting alongside Guardians just felt wrong to him. Not because he had any lofty ideas about Guardians being better or pure, but because Guardians fought differently. They could be reckless and risky and no harm done. A mortal trying to replicate that? Bloody dangerous.

Spying him, Alexandra got up from the table and sauntered over, smiling up at him. ‘That was a good rifle you gave me the other day. Can I buy you a beer?’

It had been the ‘Up For Anything’ auto rifle with a distinctive blue stripe across the grip. ‘Yes, it is a good rifle, and I guess you’d better.’ When she turned to the bar he noticed she wore a Firebreak Order symbol stitched onto the back pocket of her civvies, and scowled. What would Saladin make of this? He probably wouldn’t like it either. Then he remembered he didn’t give a damn about what Saladin thought, but despite his best efforts the bawling out his mentor had given him rose in his mind.

 _I’ve never known such insubordination. Not only are you reckless but you don’t_ think _. Deliberately defying my orders when –_

_Saladin, I stepped up and did what was needed to save the City and that’s all that matters. If I’d listened to you we’d all be dead. But fine, harp on about your bloody orders if it makes you feel like you’re not a failure._

He’d never seen Saladin look so angry and humiliated. He’d considered apologising – but for what? Hurt feelings? Hurt feelings didn’t matter. The City and the Guardians were what mattered.

Alexandra passed him a pint and he took a long pull on the beer, trying to banish his angry thoughts.

‘You don’t like me much, do you?’ she asked, amused.

He looked down at her, seeing again how pretty she was, how vital. How damn proud of herself she was. ‘Cheers for the drink,’ he said, and turned away.

But she stopped him with a hand on his arm.

‘I can fight as well as any Guardian. Can’t I?’ she said, raising her voice for her friends. A handful of Firebreak Titans raised their pint glasses in a toast and cheered. She turned back to him with a grin. ‘See?’

‘You might fight as well, but you don’t die as well.’

She waved him off. ‘So you’re special like that. Who cares.’

Oh, okay. They were doing this. He set his drink on the bar and folded his arms. ‘You’ve got that fear of losing your one life. It holds you back and there’s nothing you can do about that.’

She was still smiling but it grew fixed. ‘I’m not afraid of anything.’

‘Then you’re stupider than I thought.’ Shaxx picked up his glass and moved away, and this time she didn’t stop him.

* * *

_**Shaxx, The Tower, one week later** _

Three Crucible feeds, three beautiful Crucible feeds coming in from three arenas in the Cosmodrome. Shaxx hadn’t felt this buoyant since before Twilight Gap. Two matches were already running and a third was about to begin. He watched the teams transmat into their zones and start the match.

His eye was immediately drawn to a Titan who was leading the group along the eastern wall of the arena at a run. Good. Fearless and eager, that’s what he liked to see. Whoever it was spied an enemy and raised their gun. The enemy dropped, and then the Titan was leaping over a barrier for the next. They came up against a Warlock, who summon purple void energy in their fist. The Titan slammed themselves back against a wall, recovered, and shot the Warlock. But another enemy was upon them and they realised they’d been too eager, and turned to run.

Sunlight flashed blue across their weapon’s grip. Shaxx stared, and hot white fury spread through his chest. Then cold fear as he saw the pursuer raise a scout rifle at her head.

He smashed the controls and bent forward to yell into his mic. ‘EVERYONE DROP YOUR WEAPONS AND STAY EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE. IF ANYONE SO MUCH AS LOOKS AT A TRIGGER SO HELP ME I WILL MOUNT YOUR HEAD ON MY WALL AND LET HUNTERS USE IT FOR TARGET PRACTICE.’

And then for good measure, seeing how she was staring in fright around her for his disembodied voice, he added, ‘ALEXANDRA, DO NOT FUCKING MOVE.’

Noting that every single person in all three arenas had stopping fighting, Shaxx pushed himself away from the console with a growl and ran for his Sparrow.

Ten minutes later he roared up to the arena and stalked inside. Alexandra was standing exactly where he’d last seen her on the feeds. Stopping in front of her, he snapped, ‘Take off your helm.’

She did as she was asked and her eyes, when they met his, were defiant, but there was fear at the edges too. Fear of him, or of what she’d just done? It didn’t matter. He wanted her afraid. He wanted her to understand what a stupid thing she’d just done.

He glanced around at the other members of her team, who were all staring at her as if they’d never seen her before in their lives.

‘Did any of you know she wasn’t a Guardian?’ he barked. If they had he would personally make their life a living hell. He stared hard at each of them in turn, breathing like a bull through his nose. One after another they all shook their heads.

They didn’t know her. This was all on her.

‘Get out of my sight, all of you. Not you,’ he said to Alexandra as she turned to go. His voice became low with menace. ‘I haven’t finished with you.’

He waited until everyone had left the arena before he started.

‘Of all the foolish, stupid and downright selfish things I’ve seen in my time, I think this may be the worst. Traveler’s fucking _Light_ , Alexandra.’

She raised her chin. ‘You were the one who said I was letting fear hold me back. I wanted to prove that I wasn’t afraid.’

‘By getting yourself killed?’

She took a deep breath. ‘All right. I’ll admit that maybe it wasn’t the best idea, but I wasn’t hurting anyone but myself.’

Shaxx pointed in the direction of the departed Guardians. ‘And if one of them had killed you, you think that wouldn’t have hurt them? You think they wouldn’t have remembered the moment of your death and regretted it the rest of their very _long_  lives? That they wouldn’t have felt tricked, and guilty? We shoot each other because it’s not permanent. We still feel things.’

She flinched, and he knew he was making his point but he couldn’t seem to stop. ‘If you’ve got something to prove do it on your own time.’

‘All right,’ she muttered.

‘Don’t use Guardians and my Crucible as a way to prove how very brave you want to believe you are. Because you’re not brave, you’re reckless and you _don’t think_.’

_I’ve never known such insubordination._

Shaxx grit his teeth against the intrusive voice. Distracted, he didn’t react in time when Alexandra turned and stalked away. But she went the wrong way, further into the arena.

‘Hey!’ She didn’t stop, and he gave chase. He found her sitting behind a stone plinth, her arms wrapped around her knees. He pulled off his helmet sighed. ‘Look, I –’

‘Leave me alone.’

‘I want to –’

‘ _Can’t you mind your own business?_ ’

Shaxx took a deep breath and looked around. It was tempting to do just leave her here but this time he knew he did owe someone an apology. She’d come this close to death today and she knew it. He could see from her face that she wasn’t going to do anything like this again.  

He sat down next to her, facing the same direction and looking out across the arena. ‘I’m sorry. I lose my temper a lot lately.’

She sat in silence for a few minutes. Then she said, ‘I just want to do my part. I just want to know I can make a difference.’

Shaxx made a non-committal sound. You never knew for sure. You just had to do what you thought was right. Defying Saladin was right. Setting up the Crucible was right. Hurting people’s feelings, well, that happened.

But he still didn’t feel good about upsetting Alexandra.

‘Will you tell the others that I’m sorry?’

‘The Guardians? Don’t worry about them. They won’t remember this.’

‘You will though, won’t you?’

He looked down into her tense, white face, and saw that while she was angry she was scared too, and knew how close she’d come to dying. She was very pretty, and he wasn’t much good at apologies, so he lowered his head and kissed her. It was the first thing that came into his head that might make her feel better. An _I’m sorry_ kiss. An _I’m not really mad_ kiss. He heard her sharp intake of breath, and then her mouth softened beneath his. When he opened his mouth she did the same and his tongue slid against hers. It was a good kiss. A very good kiss.

He twisted and put his arms around her, pulling her against his side. Her lips were very warm beneath his own.

He pulled away, hoping she wasn’t about to slap his face. ‘I won’t remember either,’ he murmured. ‘In fact, it’s the sort of thing I might have done myself, in your place.’

She smiled, ‘Would you really? _That_ makes me feel better.’

‘And I’m sorry I yelled at you.’

‘The Firebreak Titans tell me you yell all the time.’

He looked again at her mouth. That had been a very good kiss. ‘Do you, ah, want to get a beer.’

A slow, heated smile spread over her face. ‘No.’ But she said it in such a way that he knew she was inviting something else. Something better.

* * *

_**Alexandra, The Last City** _

By some mute understanding he followed her Sparrow when they got back to the City, the sound of his larger, more powerful vehicle throbbing in her ears.

How did they go from shouting to kissing? She wasn’t sure but she felt wound too tight and the thought of holding onto this large man while he kissed her some more seemed like a very good idea. He was large and brash and rough and exactly what was needed.

Once they were inside her flat, he reached for her. She felt the soft prickle of his short beard as he kissed her, the gentle bite of his lower lip. _Yes, this._ With deft fingers he removed both her chest piece and his and pressed her up against the walls. His bulk was almost as solid as armour and she run her hands over him, enjoying the feel of him, the strength of him. He lifted her up as he kissed her and she wrapped her thighs around his hips.

She fumbled with the front of his greaves, but he shook his head. ‘Not here. I’m taking my time with you.’ Holding her close he walked her over to the bed and laid her down. His eyes never leaving her face, he got undressed, peeling away the layers of padding and undersuit until he was naked.

She sat up on her elbows and looked at him. Oh, Traveler’s blessing. He was big all over. She reached out and stroked her fingers down the length of him, feeling his girth, the thick veins. He might even be too much of a good thing. Not that she wasn’t going to give this a red-hot go.

He reached for her tunic but she sat up and took him in her mouth, curling her tongue around his swollen tip. He groaned, and buried his hands in her hair.

‘Oh love, that’s good.’

She slid him deeper into her mouth and drew him out again, sucking slowly, and as he breathed deeply he worked her undersuit off her shoulders and took her breasts in his hands. She took him down into her throat, humming as she did so she wouldn’t gag, and he groaned again and twisted her nipples in his calloused fingers.

Catching her under the arms he pulled her up the bed and knelt between her thighs. He was fiercely beautiful with his thick brows and pale eyes, and there were tattoos across his broad shoulders. She reached out to touch him, but when he lowered his head and licked her sex her hand dropped and she forgot about everything else. Where his fingers had been rough his tongue was very soft and languorous, licking slowly over her clit, sucking on her gently. It had been some time since she’d been with anyone and she felt herself peaking quickly. But he drew away and walked his hands up the bed until he was hovering over her. One of her hands went down between them to grasp his cock.

 _Yes, oh Traveler, fuck me_. But when she felt the length and thickness of him again some of her eagerness was quelled. ‘Um, you will be careful, won’t you?’

His mouth quirked, amused, his expression seeming to say, _Yes, I have done this before_. His hand covered hers, and the blunt tip of him slid against her slippery sex and then found her sheath. He sank in a few inches – and stopped. She felt herself stretch around him, but it was a good feeling, and she resettled her hips beneath him and pulled him closer. One of his arms went beneath her, holding her against him, and she kissed the broad expanse of him, the springy hair in the centre of his chest.

He fucked her slowly, his lips against her neck, her ear, sucking her earlobe. He smelled like summer heat and the tang of armour polish and she couldn’t get enough of him. She wrapped her thighs around his hips, urging him closer, and on his next thrust he pushed deeply and she cried out. Whimpering, she bit into his shoulder.

‘Want me to stop?’ he asked.

But she shook her head, her eyes screwed tight because he was exactly what she needed and was pushing her closer to orgasm. He responded to her clutching hands by picking up the pace, kissing her panting mouth between thrusts. She felt herself clamp down on him, and then everything broke apart. Even as she came, her head thrown back, she felt his eyes on her and his steady rhythm never broke. As she began to surface she wrapped herself tightly round him once more, her nails digging into his muscled back and her teeth sinking into his shoulder. She was hurting him, but she wanted to hurt him.

He hissed in pain but didn’t stop her. Finally she unclenched and opened her eyes, and saw he was glaring at her. ‘You bloody little cat.’

She smiled up at him, her grin wicked. ‘That was for yelling at me.’

A dangerous glint came into his eyes. ‘Oh, is that how we’re playing it?’ He pulled out and flipped her over onto her belly, and then hoisted her hips up to his. Pressing an arch into her spine he thrust into her again, and Alex wrapped her arms around a pillow and buried her face in it.

One of his hands left her hips, and then came down hard on her ass. She reared up, indignant, and cried out. ‘ _Ow._ What was that for?’

‘That was for coming into my Crucible uninvited,’ he growled. He squeezed the flesh of her behind and then spanked her again.

‘ _Ow._ What was _that_  for?’

‘That was just because you’ve got an arse like a peach.’ He raised his hand and smacked her again. ‘And _that_ was just because I could.’ He clamped his hands around her hips and pushed her knees wider with his. The heat from the marks he’d left on her skin and the angle of his thrusts were driving her close to climax again, and she could hear from the way he breathed heavily that he was close, too. His fingers dipped down between her legs and rubbed her clit, and his lips found her neck.

‘Come for me, love,’ he murmured in her ear. She clutched at his arm that he had braced next to hers and turned and buried her face in his shoulder as she reached her peak. A moment later he growled, pulling her up and back against him as he came, and she held onto his forearms through his final thrusts, her back flush against his chest.

He released her, and she sank weakly back onto the bed, her eyes closed and a broad smile on her face. ‘Now that’s better,’ she sighed.

He laughed softly and lay down on his side, and pulled her against him. The light outside had faded and they were cocooned in shadows and their warm afterglow. She felt his finger run over the scar on her hip, where a Fallen Captain had sliced her last year. Alex smiled again. She’d sliced the Fallen back and killed him, blood running down the inside of her greaves. She might have given Shaxx an apoplexy by going into his Crucible but she could handle herself in the field.

* * *

_**Early hours of the morning** _

‘Alexandra.’

‘Mmph?’ She moved in bed, hoping to feel him against her, but there was only a warm place where his body had lain.

‘I have to go.’

‘But it’s so early,’ she muttered into the pillow.

‘Things to do.’

‘Mmph.’ She felt his lips against his temple and smiled, too sleepy to even drag her eyes open. His hand trailed down her back and she arched against his touch. Why couldn’t he stay till a reasonable hour and then make love to her again. That was what she called a good morning.

‘I’ll see you soon.’ His hand lifted away, and then it came down hard on her bare ass. ‘But I _don’t_ want to see you in my Crucible.’

She squealed and her eyes shot open. He was grinning down at her, helmet under his arm. ‘Take care of yourself, Alexandra.’

‘Beast,’ she muttered as he let himself out, but she was smiling and soon fell asleep again.

* * *

_**Shaxx, The Tower, nine days later** _

The last Guardian had come to see him to turn into their bounties for the day and Shaxx was feeling quite pleased with the world around him. It had been a busy week or two, setting up new Crucible arenas and watching the feeds from the existing ones. Already the Guardians were catching onto this new way of training and some had made vast improvements. He couldn’t help his shouts of delight down the microphone when he saw a particularly good play.

He was about to leave his place in the Tower when a Titan came up to him, grubby from the field and her long black hair knotted. Callisto Yin, commander of the Firebreak Order.

She held out the rifle to him and Shaxx stared at it, puzzled. He gave out weapons, he didn’t receive them.

‘I thought you’d want it back,’ she said.

‘Want it …’ A cold feeling spread through him as he saw the distinctive blue markings on the grip. Callisto pursed her lips, her expression regretful, and he knew.

‘When …’ His voice was hoarse and he cleared his throat. ‘When did it happen?’

‘Two days ago, on the other side of the Cosmodrome. We were ambushed by Fallen.’

‘What happened to her? Were you there?’

Callisto nodded. ‘Alexandra stepped on a mine and she couldn’t get away. A Captain got her. Shot her through the head.’

He could picture it, Alexandra lying on the ground with the huge Fallen looming over her. He forced the question out. ‘Was she afraid?’

The Titan shook her head. ‘No. I don’t think so. It all happened so fast.’ She frowned up at him. ‘Were you friends?’

Dumbly, he nodded.

‘I’m sorry. We tried.’ And then the commander walked away, leaving him staring down at the rifle in his hands. What was it he’d said to her when she’d come to him for this gun?

_It was nice knowing you, Alexandra Warren._

* * *

_End of part one. I headcanon Guardians being as sterile and unable to get or transmit STDs, and both Alex and Shaxx know this. But we’re not Guardians so use a condom boys and girls._

_Thank you for reading! xx_   


	2. Chapter 2

**_Shaxx, The Tower, Destiny 1 era_ **

Shaxx noticed the green light blinking on the feeds and peered closer. The light meant a new Guardian in his Crucible, and it blinked next to the name _Alexandra Warren_. He felt a jolt, as in the week since she’d materialised back from the dead he hadn’t seen or heard a whisper of her.

A week, and she was in the Crucible already? She was keen, and probably about to get her ass handed to her. He leaned forward and pressed a button on his mic. ‘All right, Guardians. Show me how it’s done.’

His eyes tracked Alexandra and she and her team jogged in a tight knot along the walls. Good, she was being cautious in the unfamiliar map, not like last time when she’d – but he shook himself and dismissed the thought. He wasn’t going to think of her back then. None of that had happened as far as this Alexandra Warren was concerned.

She stuck with her team, and they orbited her protectively as she made shots. She had four enemies down already and hadn’t been felled once. But he could sense her getting impatient for more, and when she spotted her chance a few minutes later, she took it. The opposing team had picked off two of her teammates and as they were reloading she launched herself into the air toward them, and came down in a slam and a blaze of arc energy.

 _She's a Striker!_  Delight blazed in his chest as the lightning rolled out around her in waves, felling opponents. ‘Double down – triple down!’ he shouted. Any Guardian with good technique and a hungry style earned his respect in the Crucible but he nursed a love of his own subclass most of all. Nothing could top the smash and energy of a Striker, and not since the days when Zavala had entered the Crucible had he enjoyed watching a fellow Striker more.

She competed in two more matches, her team winning all of them, and she was never last placed. Impressive for a first attempt.

Half an hour later he spotted her Fireteam coming toward him to hand in bounties. She didn’t have any of her own but she stood to one side, watching. When the others were done she turned to him.

‘How was I, then?’ she asked, smiling coolly, clearly comfortable with her performance. He may have got overexcited calling the matches while he was watching her. _This is amazing! I can’t believe what I’m seeing._ He couldn’t help it. The Crucible got him that way.

He made a non-committal sound. ‘You did all right for a new Guardian.’

‘Oh? I can fight as well as any seasoned Guardian. Can’t I?’ she said, raising her voice at her friends. They  cheered and raised their fists. She turned back to him with a grin. ‘See?’

He was silent for a moment, watching her. Remembering how she'd done exactly the same thing in the Brew all those cycles ago when he'd told her she couldn't fight like a Guardian. He should ask Zavala if this had ever happened to him, if people he knew came back from the dead and spoke lines like living ghosts.

But for some reason he knew he wouldn’t ask Zavala.

Alexandra took his silence for disapproval and turned away.

‘Wait a second.’

She paused and looked back at him.

‘That rifle you’re using is terrible. It’s all right for picking off Fallen but you need something steadier for the Crucible.’

Her eyes hardened in annoyance. ‘Give me a chance, I might be a good fighter but it takes time to earn better gear.’

Exasperated, he turned and reached behind him for an auto rifle with a blue mark across the heft. It wasn’t the same one, but it was the same make. She’d been good with it, back then. 

 _Hadn’t saved her life, though. '_ You did well today. Here.'

She took the rifle from him, lips parted. ‘Wow, thank you. I’ve had my eye on one like this. What’s it called? I hear all Guardian weapons have names.’

‘Up For Anything.’

‘Oh?’ She flashed him a sly look. ‘What a perfect name.’

He watched her saunter off, the Mark fluttering at her hip. Behind his helm Shaxx thought for a moment that he reddened.

* * *

**_Alexandra, The Taken King era_ **

‘Shaxx.’

‘Hivebane.’

A slow smile split Alexandra’s face as she looked up at him. The Blustery Brew was crowded that night and the last of the orange sunlight was slanting through the windows and shining on armour and bare biceps. Shaxx was still in his gear, but he’d taken off his helmet.

‘You like the Hive, huh?’

He snorted. ‘I like them when they’re dead. Pint?’

She watched him as he ordered her a beer and then handed her a tall, frosted glass. He had a strong face. She liked the line of his jaw as he turned his head to speak to the barman; his lips as he spoke. There was an air of no bull-shittery about him, too, and he was solid. Warm. 

As he drank he looked at her over the rim of his glass. ‘You’ve let your hair grow out.’

She frowned. ‘You remember that my hair was short? You’ve barely seen me with my helmet off in ages.’

He cleared his throat and looked away. ‘Why haven’t you been in the Crucible lately? You’re not training properly if you’re not regularly in the Crucible. I’m not just going to give you another decent gun for nothing, you earn your weapons from me.’

Not having expected him to do anything of the sort, she gave him a sour look. ‘I have been busy, you know. The Dreadnaught. You heard of it?’

Shaxx nodded slowly. ‘Oh, I heard. I’m in pissing distance of the Vanguard table and I hear all the talk. All the comms. You got yourself into a few messy spots on that ship, didn’t you?’

Alexandra nodded, glad to talk about it with him. The other Guardians didn’t know how close things had come several times. ‘Traveler, it was tense down there. I lost comms with the Vanguard. Hive everywhere. At one point there was just static, and I had visions of what Eris went through happening to me. They thought I’d died when –’

Shaxx drained his glass and put it down on the bar. ‘’Night, Hivebane. I’ve got things to do.’

Perplexed, she watched him walk out of the bar. Sometimes he treated her like and old friend and others he acted like he couldn’t stand to be around her. What was his deal?

* * *

The first thing Shaxx saw when he clicked on his feeds the next morning was a Titan waiting to go into an arena dressed in a full Crucible bounty set. As she turned to one side he saw a blue Striker mark on her hip, and grinned. He had a feeling he knew who this was.

As he watched her fight match after match he knew. It was Alexandra. Something about the way she moved was familiar, how she gravitated toward leading her team but never striking out on her own till the right moment. During one Control match she managed to fell all four members of the opposing team with her Fist of Havoc as they tried to capture a zone. Shaxx was yelling so loudly that Arcite seemed to wince.

At the end of the day she was one of the last to return to him to hand in her bounties. He nodded appraisingly at her. ‘Nicely done.’

‘Thank you. Got anything special for me?’

‘My commendation for your fighting spirit. You’re lucky, it’s more than most get.’

Scratching a hand through her sweaty hair, she said, ‘How about a drink? A proper drink this time, without you running off halfway through.’

He looked at her with his arms folded. There was nothing wrong with keeping the truth from her as long as he kept his distance as well. He'd thought about it, and it wasn’t fair on the newer Guardians when they discovered that others knew them in their previous life. It strained things, or changed the power balance, or made them too curious about their past. The past didn’t matter. Now mattered.

Alexandra was looking up at him with expectant eyes and he noted, not for the first time, that she was a very pretty woman. He also wouldn’t mind quizzing her about her Crucible technique, either. But ...?

 _Oh, Traveler’s fucking Light, it was just a drink._ ‘Sure. Meet you done the Brew in half an hour.’

* * *

 

Alexandra had managed to do a surprising amount in half an hour. Her hair looked soft and dry and she’d changed into skin-tight trousers and a tank top. Unthinkingly, his eyes grazed her breasts before he remembered where he was and what was appropriate.

‘Same as last night?’

They sat and talked for over an hour and into a second round, and the conversation flowed easily. Not as if they were old friends, the atmosphere was too charged for that. Too much banter. Too many assessing looks. It was more like sparring than chatting.

He noticed his eyes were starting to stray to her mouth and breasts again and he put down his glass. ‘All right, that’s me. I’ll see you later.’

She put a hand on his arm. ‘Wait. Stay a bit longer, or at least let me walk back with you.’

‘Why?’

She blinked her long, dark eyelashes at him. ‘Because I like talking to you.’

Suspicion curled through him. She didn’t remember what had happened between them, did she? He’d heard about it happening sometimes, that two people … but that was only when they were deeply in love. A face was recalled, maybe a name. A sense of familiarity. She hadn’t said anything and didn’t give him weird looks so … no, she didn't remember.

But he did.

And that made it, what? Wrong? Well, what was so wrong about it? They’d slept together and then she’d died. It was hundreds of cycles ago. She wasn’t even the same person. That Alex had been cocky and impulsive. This one … she stood her ground, quietly. She was an asset and she knew it.

And she had long hair. Barely the same person.

 _Fuck. I’m talking myself into something very stupid. I should have told Zavala and asked him what he’d do._ _Actually, no. I’m glad I didn’t because I know exactly what he’d say and I don’t want to hear it._

He smiled at Alex. ‘Sure. Let’s go.’

* * *

Three streets from the Brew they stopped to allow a trio of Sparrows shoot by, and when she looked up at him she found his face very close to hers. He kissed her, slowly at first, and then coaxed her mouth open with his. Desire shot through her and she went up on her toes. This hadn’t been her intention when she’d asked him to have a drink with her but the idea had been growing and growing throughout the evening. There was something very sexy about this large, shouty man, and every time he smiled at her she felt a thrill of happiness, and of triumph. He didn’t smile like that at other Guardians.

‘My place?’ she whispered against his mouth.

He seemed to hesitate. To consider her mouth. To think. Then he shook his head. ‘The Titan dorms? I don’t think so. They stink like dirty socks.’

‘Please, I don’t live in the Titan dorms. I won an apartment in a bet three months ago. I live over the bazaar.’

‘Ah, a betting woman. What was the bet?’ he asked between kisses. 

‘Which pigeon would take off first.’

‘You bet an apartment over a pigeon?’

‘We were bored. Slow fighting day. And I bet my Sparrow and jumpship.’

‘Good ones?’

‘They were worth risking this apartment over, so yeah, good ones.’

As they talked they wended their way slowly back to the Tower, and she was hyperaware of his presence beside her. She’d had several partners since she’d been resurrected, all nice people, but none made her feel as fluttery low in her belly as Shaxx did. When she glanced at his hands she thought she could imagine just what they’d feel like on her skin. She'd know very soon.

But inside her flat he seemed to pull away from her, taking to much interest in the view from the balcony, the knick-knacks on her shelves. Was he ... shy? Surely not.  

Going over to him as he stood at the window, she asked, ‘Do you, ah, not want to?’ 

When he met her eyes she saw the dark light of desire in their depths. He did want her. But he seemed distracted. ‘You didn’t join the Firebreak Order,’ he said suddenly.

She frowned, confused, not just by the statement but by why he was saying this now. ‘Why would I join the –’

But she was cut off when his mouth descended on hers, and Titan Orders fled from her brain as she sought the fastenings on his armour. She was easier to undress in her soft civilian clothes and she was naked by the time she'd loosened his chest plate. 

'Call yourself a Titan,' he scolded, grinning at her while he quickly made short work of his armour. Then they were both naked, standing in front of the window and wrapped around each other for anyone to see. Probably should move to the bedroom -- but then he went down on his knees before her and his tongue found her sex. 

'No messing about, then,' she breathed, clutching a bookcase for support as he lifted one of her legs off the ground and hooked it over his shoulder. His short beard was soft and its gentle rasp and the smoothness of his tongue against her sex made her head fall back and the tension leave her body. Oh, yes, this was good. This was what she needed after too many stressful missions. 

The bed was in the corner and he stood up and walked her over to it, and then sat down with her so she was straddling his lap. His cock was stiff between them and she stroked its length. Traveler, he was big.  

He made a noise in the back of his throat, his eyes dark, and then took a fistful of her hair, squeezing tightly. The pull against her scalp was pleasurable even as she gasped. He pulled her further up his lap and with his other hand grasped his cock and slid it against her slick sex.

‘I’ll go slowly,’ he murmured against her mouth, and then with a hand about her waist he compelled her body down and over him, piercing her slowly, tenderly. Whimpering, she arched against him, and with one hand still holding her tightly by the hair and one hand clasped around her he slid her up and down on his length. Gradually his breathing came harder and his hold loosened, and she wrapped her arms around his neck and moved herself, pressed down harder as she rocked against him.

* * *

Shaxx groaned and fell back, his hands going to Alex’s hips as she slid up and down the length of his cock, tight and slippery, and looking like she was relishing every inch of him. He looked up at her and admired the way her hair fell about her face. That hadn’t happened the last time –

But he pushed the thought away and concentrated on her expression. Her eyes were closed and her brows pinched together, slanting upwards at the inner corners. He knew that look. And a moment later her nails dug into his chest and he felt her clench around him and her back spasm. He ran a hand up the nape of her neck and buried it in her hair, holding her while she came.

When she opened her eyes and looked down at him, trying to catch her breath, he asked, ‘That good, Hivebane?’

She let out a yelp of laughter, which quickly changed to a moan as he grasped both her hips and began to thrust up into her, hard. She planted her hands on his chest again and held on as he moved inside her.

‘Too much?’ he asked.

Eyes squeezed shut, lip caught between her teeth, she shook her head emphatically. He growled as delight and desire surged through him. He would hold back if he was hurting her but Traveler’s fucking Light it was more fun not to. His climax was building quickly and when she reached behind her to stroke his balls he lost it, coming so hard that he sat up suddenly and buried his face against her breasts.

He sank back down onto the bed, taking her with him. _Good decision, Shaxx. Screw Zavala and what he'd think. What anyone would think._

She traced her fingers through his chest hair, for a few minutes, thoughtful. ‘You're funny compared to other Titans, you know. When are you going to get your horn fixed? When are you going to start wearing a Mark?’

He heaved a heavy shoulder and let it fall. ‘Fix my horn? This has been my armour set for hundreds of cycles. I don’t see any reason to change it.’

‘Not change it, just fix it.’

He thought about it for a moment. ‘I fought, it broke off. If I ever put on a Mark it won’t be anything special. It doesn’t matter what I look like. You lot are out there fighting for the City and if you want to carry symbols into battle, good. Do it. But I don’t need to pattern myself up. I run the Crucible and I’m not likely to forget it.’

Her voice was drowsy and her eyes were closed. ‘Zavala covers himself with symbols.’

‘That’s his way. Not wrong, just different.’

She smiled against his skin, mumbling sleepily, ‘You’re your own man, Lord Shaxx.’

He fell asleep, but woke in the early hours of the morning to find her ass pressed tightly against his cock, and that he was hard again. He hands roamed over her and, half asleep, her body flexed against him. His fingers found her sex and she was hot and slippery to his touch. A small cry escaped her mouth as he stroked her, and her hand reached behind her to take his length in her grasp. His fingers explored, pressing deeper, and he sunk two fingers up to his knuckles in her tight flesh. She pressed her face into the sheets and moaned his name.

That sound seemed to do something to him and he pushed her flat onto her belly and opened her legs with his knees. With one hand heavy on the small of her back he sheathed himself inside her and thrust, fast and hungry, shallow at first but deepening his strokes as she braced her hands against the headboard and arched her back. He grabbed a fistful of her behind and squeezed. She had a great ass, a proper Titan ass, muscled and meaty.

‘I thought … you’d have – _ah_ – a catchphrase,’ she said between pants.

‘A what?’

She had her head turned to one side, her cheek against the mattress as he pounded her, and she was smiling. ‘You – know. Something you’d say as you – _oh god_ – came.’ One of her hands worked down between her legs and she started touching herself. What a pretty fucking picture that was.

Eyes still closed, she talked softly as her fingers worked on her clit and he watched her, rapt. ‘I like hearing all your encouragement and shouting in the Crucible. _You have zone advantage. I can’t wait to see what you’re going to do with that_.’ Her voice constricted as if she was getting closer to her peak.

He laughed. ‘You want me to call our fucking like I do a Crucible match?’ Leaning down he bit her earlobe, and then rumbled against her ear, ‘I can’t believe what I’m seeing.’

He felt her tighten convulsively around him. She was so close. Either this was going to make her laugh or make her come, and he didn’t much care which. Both were fucking gorgeous. ‘I know total domination when I see it. Is this what victory smells like?’

She reached back, cupping his sweaty neck, and she came. He smiled against her ear, laughing softly, because if you couldn’t laugh during sense what was the bloody point.

Alex slumped back against the mattress, but he wasn’t done with her. _May as well do this properly._ He hooked an arm under her hips and raised her up, moving onto his knees. He gave her ass a smack and then set a swift, hard pace. He felt his own climax rushing up and with it a desire to shout. ‘You want the Crucible? I am the Crucible!’ He pressed deeply as he felt his seed spurt inside her, and his paced slowed and finally stopped. Hot but satisfied, he collapsed back onto the bed and pulled her against him. She laughed weakly into his chest.

‘What?’ he asked with a grin.

‘I think you probably just woke all my neighbours.’

Taking a deep breath he bellowed at the top of his lungs, ‘DON’T THEY KNOW? THE CRUCIBLE NEVER SLEEPS.’

There came a banging on the wall, and then a muffled, angry voice called, ‘WHO THE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, LORD FUCKING SHAXX?’

Alex clapped a hand over his mouth before he could yell back that yes indeed, he was Lord fucking Shaxx, and what did they think they were going to do about it?

‘Shh, it’s three in the morning. Go back to sleep.’

He curled his body around hers and closed his eyes. ‘Whatever you say, Hivebane.’

* * *

 

There was the sound of a throat being cleared, and Shaxx looked up from what he was doing, which was kissing Alex. It was after midnight in the Tower and he’d be sure that they were alone. It was Zavala, his expression neutral, but Shaxx knew him well enough to see the hint of disapproval in his eyes. _Fraternising in the Tower. There's a time and place, Shaxx_ , his expression seemed to say. 

Alex ducked her head, sheepish. ‘I’ll um, see you later,’ she whispered to Shaxx.Then she hurried away.

Zavala impassively told him about some weapon developments that might come in handy, as if he’d seen nothing out of the unusual. Then he turned to go.

‘Wait a sec.’ Zavala was the person to ask about this. The more he got to know Alex the more his conscience seemed to smart. Things she did or said reminded him of her first life, and then he’d get distracted or annoyed with himself, and she’d become confused and he couldn’t tell her why he was acting like that. ‘I wanted to know … what you thought.’ he finished lamely. For fuck’s sake. Since when was he such a coward?

Zavala frowned. ‘What I thought? About you and Warren?’

Shaxx made a non-committal sound.

‘I don't think anything.' Then sensing that Shaxx wanted more than that, he asked, 'Is it serious?’

‘I don’t know. We see each other all the time, just around. In the Tower. Down the Brew.’ When she came in from the dangerous bloody missions Zavala and the other Vanguard kept sending her on. Those missions were the worst because he could hear the comms from where he stood and he was both jealous and anxious about them.

‘Then take care of each other. That’s all there is to it, old friend.’ But something about Zavala’s face as he turned away made Shaxx feel like he resented the question, and he watched his fellow Titan walk away.

Shaxx scowled. Take care of Alex. That was vague and unhelpful. How the fuck was he supposed to do that?

* * *

**_Thank you for reading! If Zavala seemed grumpy it's because he's got his own things to deal with, but that's a friend's unwritten story and a bit of an inside joke for us ;) I'll put a bit more into the final part of this story and link hers when she gets around to writing it!_ **


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